We all need reminders once in awhile. Sometimes more often than just once in awhile. Like every hour on the hour kind of thing. A little bell rings, and someone tells you how fabulous you are and you can do it!! Not a bad idea really.
I felt compelled to write these 'affirmations' down. I know them to be true. Their deep truth resonates within me. But I get sidetracked, these deep truths get forgotten, and I'm what? Magnificent? Nah!...I can't even remember what I went into the other room for?! I feel bogged down by bills, by stress, (from bills!), and just the routine of everyday stuff. No different than probably thousands of others out there. So at least I don't feel alone.
That statement, "be your true self". Therein lies the struggle. I don't feel true to myself. I am definitely not living up to MY part of MY bargain. When did I make this bargain? Why wasn't I aware that when I did so, the consequences of not fulfilling this bargain would be this seemingly impossible struggle to find my true self. I'm no Sherlock Holmes. I'm not qualified and I don't have proper training. I would have done it already!
Of course, there are those that are highly motivated, and marking their path to greatness with no hesitation. Am I jealous you ask? No. Course not. Not Really. Okay fine, just point me to my chosen path, tell me what to do and I will go running, full speed ahead! I won't even warm up! I have been waiting patiently for years now!
Only me, my true self, knows what my chosen path is. Why is she keeping it a secret? What do I have to do to get it out of her? How long is she going to let me suffer? Let me tell you, I'm no spring chicken, and 'she's' starting to piss me off!
I like photography. That's what I do. But it's not ALL I can do. It fills a small part of the creative need that I have, but there is still so much more... I know I have it in me to do more than I can imagine. More than my wildest dreams can conjure up. I am capable. I am strong. I am here for a reason. I'm just not quite sure of that exact reason... which is why I made this inspirational mantra. To inspire myself!
Maybe a few others need a gentle reminder too?
Sure, Oprah's doing her best, with her daily email reminders, and her motivational Lifeclass. I don't think I'm passing...yet. Is there a test? If there is I know I'm not ready. But I think that's the point. We never think we are ready, always hesitating, second guessing our decisions. Fearing change, too much thinking and not enough action. One very popular shoe company, has the saying right. I should 'just do it'. Good advice.
I'll think about it.
I took this photo last year. Sarah had heard from a friend that I did boudoir shots, and a little confused, I said "well, most of my nudes are about 34 weeks pregnant, but if you're game, I'm game!" Ive always wanted to do a natural style semi-nude-beachy-type-shoot. Don't ask me why exactly, I think just not so posed, and a real ocean backdrop with natural light can't be beat. We did the first part of the boudoir session at her friends house, and then went to Wreck Beach in beautiful Vancouver B.C. That's a nude beach for those of you that aren't in the know. We didn't want to get arrested or violate anyone's personal sensitivities by going to just any old beach, even if it is for arts sake. (and a birthday gift for her boyfriend!)
It was a typical unpredictable Vancouver day in June, you never know what you're going to get. It was a little cooler, and starting to sprinkle a bit of rain by the time we got down the long winding steps to the beach. Sarah and I were undeterred, but feeling a bit more pressure to get this done before a possible downpour made a surprise appearance. Being that it was such an overcast day, there really wasn't anyone there, and that was perfect for both of us. She wasn't used to walking around butt naked on a chilly day, and I wasn't used to taking naked photos of women with perfectly flat bellies. But we got the shots and had a blast! Sarah really let loose and had fun. I think she found it very freeing once she let her inhibitions go, and a few times I wished I was on the other side of the camera. But it was really cold and the ocean was freezing! So on second thought, I decided it was better to stay fully clothed and just live vicariously through her and use my imagination. At this time, also imagining I am a supermodel in my prime with a killer body doing a sports illustrated cover shoot for a few million bucks. A girl can dream.
Somehow that day, turned into this little affirmation list that I wrote on her photo. It has the perfect mood of contemplation about it. There is a softness to her, that says she is delicate, she can be hurt. But she protects herself, not with the little wrap she has on her exposed body, but with the strength and courage all women have within us.
Dig deep. Its there. And repeat after me, 'ding ding', "You are MAGNIFICENT"...
By Tamsen Ogden
Photographer, something blah blah something, and soul searcher
(just my own, so don't ask me to find yours too)
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